I posted this in a discussion thread on the Inner Bonding site and decided to share it here.
It is very important to get the distinction between allowing someone to blame us and taking responsibility for our actions. We are seduced by information. If someone is saying something to us that appears to be true, we tell ourselves that we have to let them blame us. That is false. We are not obligated to let anyone dump blaming energy on us EVER, no matter what we “did.” Blaming energy is a deal breaker, especially if we do not have a strong enough inner loving adult to keep our inner child completely safe and not all affected by the blaming energy. If we can do that, maybe we can try to go into an intent to learn with the person who is blaming and see if the conversation can be shifted, but until we can it is abusive to do it because we are allowing our inner child to be in the line of fire instead of taking care of him or her. Taking responsibility is different from blaming ourselves, because when we blame ourselves, we basically tell our inner self that he or she was not good enough. Taking responsibility is bringing our loving adult self on board to use a situation where something happened learn more about being loving, about healing our false beliefs and using what happened not to shame ourselves but to give ourselves a gift of opening to a new place of learning.